Help for internet dating and sex addiction
No official stats exist on SLAA but, from what I've been told, the meetings seem to be representative of society as a whole, serving all socio-economic backgrounds, genders and sexual preferences.
"Most attendees are single because the addiction renders them so," my contact says.
Sex and love addiction (SLA) is different to what we saw destroying Michael Fassbender in the movie Shame, or in tabloid coverage of Tiger Woods' misdemeanours.
SLAA deals instead with sex alongside love, under the umbrella of “intimacy anorexia”.
So how and why can one become addicted to these wonderful things, rather than simply enjoying them as natural human emotions?
Let's start by looking at the feeling of falling in love: the intense rush, the loosening of boundaries, the sensual stimulation, the wilful submission.
It almost sounds like nothing a decent bottle of whisky wouldn't do.
I don't know the name of the contact I ultimately interviewed, I reached him through nameless channels, and he does not claim in any way to represent the organisation (in fact he doesn't even approve of me calling it a organisation, "It is simply," he explains, "a place for working the 12 steps").They often struggle to determine what they want or who they are, and instead of searching for this they abandon themselves, electing instead to only have an identity in relation to being wanted by another person.The addict is "dependent" on a partner for validation, a pattern which may hold sufferers in abusive relationships, or lead them to coerce or bully their partner into satisfying their needs.Although he does not want to seek help for it because he think he is fine and its normal for him.He would tell me stories, of when he was younger, about how he would literally feel sick if he didn't feel as if he pleased his partner.